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.. OH MY GOD!"Silence followed ... Some moments later, the captain came back on the intercom. "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry if I scared you. While I was talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"From the back of the plane, a passenger yelled"For the love of God, you should see the back of mine!"This one is compliments of AnonymousA married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet.One day the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet, as well. Inside the closet, the little boy says, "It sure is dark in here, isn't it?" Yes it is," the man replies."Do you wanna buy a baseball?" asks the little boy."No, thank you," the man replies."I think you do wanna buy a baseball," the little extortionist continues.After considering the position he's in, the man says, "Fine. How much?" Twenty-five dollars," the little boy replies."TWENTY-FIVE. Next was ‘Take calcium and Lysine.’ “What’s Lysine, Michael?”“Don’t know, but Google probably does.” I opened another tab to find out that Lysine was an amino acid, found in very lean beef and lots of kinds of fish. I’m not a big fan of fish, but I had it a lot when living with mom ... not so much these days.The next bunch of aids were all connected: Minerals, vitamins, and even herbal aids. Lastly was exercise, but I didn’t understand how to do that, because I have a broken leg. I knew where we would be and when, so I went to a place online that was always showing on the pages I looked at. It was called Puritan’s Pride, and they might just have everything in one place, outside of the beef.I opened another new tab and had the methodologies on one tab and the Puritan’s Pride website on another one. Knowing I was going to buy something from it, I registered by giving them my billing address with all the rigmarole they also insisted upon. With Miss Case watching, my password would be.
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